Happiness

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Happiness is not found in the perception that others have of you.
It is not found in the material things that you collect while here on this earth.
It will not be found in achievements or accolades.
You wont find it in the bottom of a bottle or in the haze of smoke you cloud your mind with.
Not even the love of all those you hold near and dear will always make you truly happy.
We often try to overcompensate with relationships and addictions that we think will complete us or help us overlook whats really holding us back from finding that true happiness
Once those relationships fail or that high wears off we’re back at square one.
True happiness can only be found when you are content within.
Once you’ve learned to accept and love yourself in spite of all your flaws and imperfections then you will find true happiness.
40 years on this earth and I’ve come to the realization that the only person or thing that can dictate my happiness is me…

That energy

sexual-energy-transfer

I can tell you need
Some love and affection
Its your energy that’s hittin me
I can feel the connection
A gentle touch
Some intimacy
To cause your souls resurrection
Don’t worry luv
This fin to be
The best thing since Obama’s election
I plan to be a willing captive in your world
Already captivated by your perfect imperfection
My queen will never have to request the presence of her King in her court.
You are, and always will be
The most important piece on the board
And for that my loyalty must and always will be eternally and undoubtedly yours.

Trapped

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I find myself trapped in this paradox
Wondering just where i fit in
Fighting so hard to be judged by the content of my character
Yet still only judged by the color of my skin
Working day and night to prove that Im worthy
Worthy of freedom
Worthy of self expression
Worthy of respect
To only be minimized to an adjective
400 years and aint nothing changed yet
Black
Yes Black I am
Yes Black i will always be
And yes I am black and proud
But Im sick and tired of being sick and tired
Of being just another black man held down
See opportunities have never seemed to avoid me or be held just out of reach of my grasp
But theres always this invisible ceiling
Thats always dictating just how high my black ass can grab
I was always told I could be anything
All i gotta do is try hard
Oh yea and not be too black
That shit keeps tearing away at my insides
So much I wanna do and say but we are trained to fear the systems backlash
So I choose to hold my tongue and just continue to try and hold back
My southern roots I hate sometimes
Gotta beware of massas wrath
So I plot and plan my own mental revolution
To break these chains and remove the curse of the past
I try to focus myself on being conscious
Staying woke, eyes open wide, keep them lashes off my back
They dont want a brother to fly
I can only be fly
Not spread my wings and sore heavenly high
Meet my creator and ask Jah why
Why hast thou grounded me with these earthly burdens.
I don’t wanna get high
Just be like the utmost high
Mind elevated to godly status
And sit on a throne somewhere
Somewhat isolated on a mountain side
Contemplating my creation
Avoiding my souls devastation
While talking philosophically
With others of an enlightened mind
This twisted vision of seperation
Sparked by the damning situation
Perpetrated by integration
Has me on some
Lets build our own sovereign nation
And avoid the tyrrany of those
Who only see the slaves in us
With borders not bound by colors
And justice that is just for even us…
I wanna be free
Truly free
So for now I’ll have to settle for the freedom
And peace of my mind

 

Nah They Ain’t Ready!!

Moors of Northern Africa:

Moors-in-Spain

Y’all act like you want to talk about it

But y’all aint ready for the truth

The reason we are hated and hunted

Devalued and misled from youth

Mankind’s forsaken children

God’s chosen few

Still searching for the land of Milk n Honey

Trying to escape Babylon’s noose

The history has been hidden

From Jerusalem to the Egyptian Sphinx

The creators of the greatest civilizations

Ancient Romans, Italians, and Greeks

All marveled and mirrored the images

Until envy and greed reached its peak

See We were once called Moors and

Held in the highest regards

Feared and respected for intellect and war

Descendants of true survivors

Because American Slavery was like none other before

Yet we rise above the bullshit

Only to be mired in it

By our own ignorance and

This is the root of our downfall

Forgetting we have always been destined for greatness

May Be our biggest mistake of all

Wallowing in self-pity and

Blaming mankind for every misfortune to come

Time to realize the power we actually hold

And begin to grow again as one

Self-suffiency is key to survival

We must improve ourselves

If we expect change to come

I Need That

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I Need That

That can’t breathe if I’m not with you

Can’t sleep if I’m not near you Kind of Love

That fast pace, heart rate elevating kinda love.

That kind of love that just won’t wait for morning

So her beauty visits me in my dreams

Making me miss the warmth of her smile

Amongst many of tender things

That love that makes me want to be better

Inspires me in all I do

I need her to need me

As the earth needs the Sun and Moon

I Need You

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Wake Up My Ninjas Wake Up…..

Wake-Up (1)

Keep your eyes looking towards the future

Thinking of the greatness that could be

I remember plans to change the destined future

but life’s changes makes things harder than what they should be

Can’t lose focus or fall victim

To all the negativity

WakeUp

Remember you were chosen

Don’t catch a case of forgotten identity

Many fools you encounter will speak with false knowledge

Some whom may even be considered kin to thee

Hold no grudges and offer words to enlighten

A better path for them and their seeds to see

These worldly things we hold to heart

Start to drown out our own creativity

Clouding our vision with fame and fast women give way to

Four and a half minutes of sociopathic tendencies

Displayed in rapid rhetoric

Music with no intent or purpose upon delivery

Constant reminders of how you’re the greatest

and everyone is just full of envy

Then you converse about drugs in your ride

And wonder why the police always run into thee.

My Brother, My Brother

When will we learn

Peace is hard to find without anonymity

We can talk all day about what we want to do

But the reality is much different than we tend to see.

Or at least pretend not to see

What others pretend to be

Cause they themselves aren’t prepared

To face their own causality

In their own self afflicted tragedy

Too damn quick to blame another for

Falling victim to their own fallacies

My brothers are caught up

In this slave mentality

Not realizing the image

of a street hustler is a gimmick

Meant to make us followers and mimics

Marching to our own death or captivity

Too institutionalized to see the irony

Of how we slave and slave

For some whips and chains

To feel like a success

When in actuality

It is a spit in the face

To a whole entire race

And generation that fought

For respectable solidarity

WAKE UP

Wake-Up (1)

Social Problems in Education….

Poverty Grunge Background in Black Harsh Tones
Poverty Grunge Background in Black Harsh Tones

The American education system is one that has been debated and ridiculed since the turn of the 20th century. All of the social changes that occurred in the United States over the years has change the face of our educational system and has affected the way and the environment in which our children learn. The sociological purpose for schools is to prepare children to be able to function in society. It also teaches how to work with those who do not have a personal relationship with each other. School is considered a sort of bridge between society and family. Its purpose is to get us ready for adulthood. There has been a drastic change in the social values in America since the educational system has begun. One of the social changes that have had the most effect would be the removal of prayer from schools on June 25, 1962. Religion and prayer were removed based on the separation of church and state ideology on which this country was founded. It is never been an amendment of complete separation of church and state but when the government removed prayer from school it open the door for the decline of morals and values to enter into the school system as well. If children did not go to church or if they did not know any aspect of religion or faith at least they could receive it in educational manner at school. The problem that arises is relying on teachers not to enforce their personal opinions or let them influence their curriculum or method of teaching.

Now there are several social issues that schools face in today’s society. There has been a major increase in school violence, dropout rate, teen parenting, child abuse, homelessness, and extreme poverty. These issues affect the learning process and place major stress on the learning environment for any child dealing with these issues in their everyday life. Some of these issues such as extreme poverty in certain areas could easily be addressed by better school funding in those areas. Cities with a high rate of poverty experience inadequate funding for school districts in the most affected area. This seems just backwards. One would think you would provide more funding for those in high-risk areas instead of the more affluent districts. These impoverished areas are in more need of this funding so that they can afford better programs and be able to hire capable teachers and also to build better facilities. Then that would also mean that I would be assuming that the intent of the government is one of an altruistic nature. One that wanted to all succeed. That would be a very foolish assumption. The American government spends billions on foreign aid and its educational system needs aid in its poverty-stricken areas and inner-city schools. This writer wonders why we as a nation go into debt to help others but can’t help ourselves.

Preview of “Got My Wings Back” by Jonathan Turmon

Ya’ll please be patient with me. I am trying to write a book all on my lonesome. The purpose is not to be published or for mainstream recognition but only to voice my words, views and experiences in a way that may help someone else along this journey we call life. If you have any suggestions on format or editing help please feel free to leave them in the comments below. Thank you in advance. Love you all and God Bless.

Introduction:

Born in rural South Carolina life was usually pretty laid back. I lived off of Hwy 81. RFB_20150111_08_51_55_Saved_Pictureight down the street from Wren High School and Canes Corner. Now if you know this area then you know the mixture of cultural values and beliefs that existed in this little piece of heaven on earth that we called home. If not, let me give a brief overview.

Imagine huge rolling fields and pasture on each side of two lane highway that stretches from Greenville straight to Anderson County and on through to………

Ch.2

I first fell in love with music because it gave me the  ability to share my words and the emotion that comes with them at that very moment. I never intended to see myself onstage or perform in front of crowds, opening for industry artist. I only wanted my words to reach and touch or possibly help someone, anyone who read or heard them. I wanted to make a difference in the world with my words, but I was hesitant. My first experience or endeavor began with poetry and short stories. Poetry gives the ability to express complicated emotions in patterns of words. This is something I had a hard time doing verbally as a child and still to this day. It’s easier for many of us to write about how we feel rather than say it directly to the person. Something about that brain to mouth connection that just does not connect and can sometimes leave us with the derpy face, as my sons would say. The derpy face is the well known stage fright look. All the words are running through your mind but they just don’t seem to come out right.

The comfort and the artistry of writing became the second most intriguing attraction of my newly found favorite pastime. I quickly learned that quality, product, and content are far more respected and required for longevity in the career field. I promised myself to never promote or portray myself in a contradictory manner to my true character. My writing would reflect my morals, my love, my soul. As we all know, through the course of ones life our situations change and so does our way of thinking. We allow ourselves to detach from our true selves as a means of survival. On those occasions I reacted in ways that my mother would not be proud of. So I decided to change. In hindsight the change came a tad bit too late but also just in time.

After looking at my kids and asking myself would they be proud of what I write as adults? I came to the conclusion that I must evolve as all great artists do. Its not about making money and being famous when making art. Its all about inspiring your peers and others for generations to come. Your words can be your legacy. So choose them wisely. What do you want to be remembered for?

So now I find myself taking a hiatus from making music. The industry is filled with narcissistic pre Madonna’s intent on bringing focus, only on themselves instead of shedding light onto others. Many have the knowledge but chose not to share the message. It’s not only the words but the tone in your delivery. B**** this B**** that hoes always feeling ya. Seriously? Is that or is that not pure negativity. Positive messages are what we need. We complain about the state of our people and continue to contribute to our own demise by condemning our young people to a lifetime of idolatry instead of giving them respectable leaders.

Through our words we condone the genocide of our own people by advocating drug usage, declining morals, and materialistic ways. We have created a divide between ourselves culturally once again as house or field niggas just as in slavery days. Bickering amongst each other not realizing the real enemy is the perpetrators of instigating this internal strife of being, as our generation would say a real nigga or a lame. Why point out and celebrate all the negative and nasty things in this world if you’re not going to give an alternative way of doing things or respectfully explaining why their actions aren’t helping the progression of our people. Nah we wanna make money off of calling women bitches and hoes and talking about the materialistic worshipping we do of the dollar while hollering Amen, God is good on any given Sunday, I think we call these individuals Pharisees’.

Many of the kids and adults that your music reaches and is targeted to are not awarded the knowledge of the world that is in many of our hands. They don’t get taught Pan African History or African American History pre or post slavery. As artists it is our jobs to spread this knowledge and give our people a sense of pride and self-worth of our ancestry.

In many instances of today I see the opposite happening in our music and entertainment. The degradation of our culture and its rich history is exemplified in the state of our hip hop music or rap as I call it. Hip Hop is a rare commodity to come by and only few artists adhere to or practice the true form. I speak of it in such high reverence because it is well deserved. Hip Hop is the evolution of the culminations’ of music forms invented by our people. Any and all genres can be integrated into Hip Hop. Just like the color black all others come from this and came to form this. But the consciousless version it has taken the shape of under the reckless usage of today’s youth is better known as rap. Pointless, meaningless, random, statements of narcissistic rage and arrogance scream through the airwaves.

Is this a reflection of what our people have become or only what they want us to be. Programming us through the only means of a decent and relevant education many of us have is through music. So as the holders of the pen shouldn’t we influence our progression in a positive manner? Do we let the Industry dictate what we feed to our youth through our lyrics. Whether you believe it or not, they listen. They listen and recite your every word. Just watch any vine. You will see the youngest of children singing what they hear on their parents mp3 players word for word……

Am I My Brother’s Keeper?

How can you call yourself a Christian and not speak out on or even recognize the inequalities and discrimination still present In this country that stem  from the privileged and unaccountable attitude of mainstream America. I understand all Americans do not share this same ailment but many if not most do. To attribute the circumstances of today’s black Americans as simply an unwillingness to conform and the makings of their own work ethic, character, education, or lack of, is a grave injustice and one that any logical human being with after or foresight would deem as ignorant if not simply just abhorrently evil, unless they lack the capability of comprehending and viewing the history of America without veiled shades on. The idea of such ignorance or the guise of, infuriates me to point of disgust with my fellow Americans. The occurrence of a black president did not end all racial problems in this country. If anything, it made them worse. Now Americans have more, whether valid or not, reasons to ridicule, criticize, and discriminate against black Americans even more. The disrespect that has been shown to this president is unprecedented. Nixon never received as much criticism and he was impeached. Acts of treason by congress and senate all occurred simply because of the unwillingness of the Good ole boys club to appear to be taking orders from a black man, or anyone who is not a  Anglo male for that matter. Loretta Lynch, the first African American female Attorney General has had the longest confirmation period from the senate ever recorded. 166 days total. I read a blog article about the two faced Christian a few days ago. The message was received instantly.

For the sake of humanity we must learn to understand and accept each other. There is a cycle of poverty that is perpetuated by the practices of systemic racism in America that  Some don’t know exists or either refuse to acknowledge it. It starts in our school systems.

Schools are the socialization agent that was put in place well before the inception of this country. Our children learn their roles in society, and are educated or given the tools to succeed, in an ideal educational environment. In low income, high minority populated areas, this Is not the case. Schools are poorly funded, teachers poorly trained, paid and evaluated on job performance, and students are not afforded the same learning experiences as more affluent communities have. Often minority children are placed in special ed, or non-college preparatory classes and just pushed through the systems. College is rarely an option so the chance for a career and getting out of that cycle of poverty is slim.

We all know it is a fact that minorities and especially young black and Latino men are more likely to be convicted of the same crimes that their majority(white) counterparts but given a harsher sentence. I have personally seen how second chances from the court system are given to non-minority offenders more often than anyone of a minority race. 0 of 11 residents in a rehab center in a county where over 50 percent of the drug arrest are minorities but the prison population of minorities soar to over 70%. Mostly simple possession cases. All in a system where prisons are privately owned and earn profit when they stay full. You tell me if the discrimination or unfair treatment is obvious.

After having a record getting a job isn’t that easy, especially for convicted felons. Most have to take low level jobs or resort to crime again. Yet we judge those who have to survive by any means necessary. By no means do I condone criminal activity or violence against anyone for any reason other than defense of self and others. But not understanding why someone would act out in such a way is just as barbaric as the act itself because it is a conscious decision to ignore the wrongs and injustices being committed, have been committed, and the effects of those acts, to mankind by mankind. So again I ask, Am I My Brothers Keeper? Are You?